I am worried my job will never get better
I am worried that I will never do better
I am worried that my bandmates will become static and not evolve in their playing.
I am worried I am in the wrong band.
I am worried that Nick's new band will be ultimately better than ours, and it will be the band I've wanted to be in all along
I am worried about repeating ourselves
I am worried that we will not evolve in the right direction
I am worried that I am putting too much effort into a relationship that we have agreed upon to permanently remain at a fixed point
I am worried I will not stop thinking about her.
I am worried I will not be able to talk to new people
I am worried I will not be able to start a new relationship
I am worried that I might have ignored my real friends
I am worried that I haven't done enough.
And I'm worried I will never change.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Welp, it's Wednesday. My last week of classes.
And I'm home. I woke up this morning and my mom asked me "...are you seriously going to do anything today?" since I planned to get in late today from playing AS220 last night. I said "Not really..."
"Well" she said, "Do chores for me and I'll let you stay home"
I thought about it, and fuck it! Sure. I'll stay home. I know I'm not doing shit. And not doing work! But it's before noon, so there's time.
Alright, where do I begin? I guess friday.
Long story short, my school set up a dance, but the catch is that every dance we set up, they book bands in the auditorium. All emo bands. And my band, because I go to school there.
I ran sound, it was easy, just vocals, but I was also house manager. People in bands are douchebags. Plain and simple.
We played a good set, but one of our shorter sets. I guess we realize we have to go from 0 to 10 in about 2 minutes and stay there for 30 minutes. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. Glad my friends saw us at the top of our game.
Martin's Party
Wake up at 10:30, move my shit from my car to Dad's car. Shower, double check gear and go.
Listen to Eno on the ride, discuss things with my dad, get JBLs from Jon B, talk with him for a bit, up and walking around from his hernia operation. Glad to see him and he's doing fine.
On to Lake Mishnock. Get there about 1. Talk with Matt Richter on the way there, told him to bring brushes because I forgot mine and was planning to drum for a few songs during my dad's set.
Roll up, see Martin mowing the lawn, apparently he just found out about 10 minutes ago. First words out of his mouth were
"You guys fucking suck"
And then hugged us. Had to get the PA out of the attic, not bad, but not the lightest, most portable either. Start setting up sound as people start to come in. Over complicated setups are our specialty. Dad makes me laugh as he puts on Post Modern John for house music/test music for the setup. My dad starts his set. It's alright, not a lot of people giving attention. I feel as though it might be a little disrespectful to people, but I can understand there's only so much attention you can give in a party situation like this. Did frippertronics stuff on a song. Was alright, atmosphere was all wrong, I'll get into that in a minute...
Matt hadn't showed up yet. No drums for me.
House on Fire was not as much of a dud as I thought, but I played a really really short set. I ended at the logical end point. I felt like I couldn't play my best since they were really there for me. Pack up, dad a little pissed I didn't play longer. Oh well. I feel that HoF needs to go in the closet. Is it fun? Kinda. The Robert Fripp thing gets kinda old especially because I am not Robert Fripp. I put the "pop" songwriting on hold to expand with HoF. Maybe it's time for them to swap places.
Hot as balls outside. I pack up, put my stuff off to the side. By this point, Dan, Robbie, Astrid and Nick have shown up, and we all go swimming/ boating. Cools us off and puts me back into a better mindset. Matt Richter's band has started by now. One thing I'm always impressed with is how GOOD the sound is out in the lake, it sounds amazing and I don't know why! It's like a natural mix that doesn't blow.
Matt Richter's band is your standard blues/rock cover band, but they're all great musicians, to the point where I would probably go out and see them if given the chance. I think the covers were a bit overdone. But they were nice to listen to, although I was hoping they would finish up because I was antsy about playing. They ended up playing 3 or 4 mini sets, so I was just chomping at the bit to go.
Pete, Nick, Dan and I go to the jeep to concoct a set list. Except for songs we've collectively thrown out of the pile, I think we've played almost every song we've ever written, I'm pretty sure. (There's one song we wrote that everyone forgot about, what the fuck ever happened with that one? It was pretty good, gotta ask about that) Set up with Nick, Me and Dan from left to right, with Pete out in front. I forgot my keyboard stand (I don't know where it is right now. I fear it's left at the Blackstone) so I used a barstool from the house. Talk to Martin before, asked him to play harmonica on LMS. He obliged.
We go on, good set, kinda a blur. Crowd was small but way into it which was good. Lots of friendly interaction. Martin came up one point during the new song and laid down some free-form vocals, it actually fit.
So, we pack up our gear, and along come this man, soaked to the bone with his dog, in full clothing. He is under the influence of something, says how he tripped and fell in the lake, and walked all the way over here to find out where the music is coming from, and we must play one more song... We oblige. We play "National Anthem" by Radiohead and then go into a jam, with Martin on harmonica again, it was good. Pack up, Band hit the road. I go swimming again. Go in, dry off, see Martin in his house playing some songs, grab a guitar and join him. Play through some covers and Meccalily songs. Leave around 1 AM.
Yesterday. School, shit, what are you gonna do. AS220. I feel we didn't play that well, made the horrible decision to have Dan on the stage and put us on the ground. There were tables and a lot of things that weirded me out. Pete, Dan and Nick make a deal out of the pay deal, not the money, but the fact we weren't told about the system. I don't know what they're angry about.
Oh well. Was nice to see Justin and Martin and Lily there...
And I'm home. I woke up this morning and my mom asked me "...are you seriously going to do anything today?" since I planned to get in late today from playing AS220 last night. I said "Not really..."
"Well" she said, "Do chores for me and I'll let you stay home"
I thought about it, and fuck it! Sure. I'll stay home. I know I'm not doing shit. And not doing work! But it's before noon, so there's time.
Alright, where do I begin? I guess friday.
Long story short, my school set up a dance, but the catch is that every dance we set up, they book bands in the auditorium. All emo bands. And my band, because I go to school there.
I ran sound, it was easy, just vocals, but I was also house manager. People in bands are douchebags. Plain and simple.
We played a good set, but one of our shorter sets. I guess we realize we have to go from 0 to 10 in about 2 minutes and stay there for 30 minutes. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. Glad my friends saw us at the top of our game.
Martin's Party
Wake up at 10:30, move my shit from my car to Dad's car. Shower, double check gear and go.
Listen to Eno on the ride, discuss things with my dad, get JBLs from Jon B, talk with him for a bit, up and walking around from his hernia operation. Glad to see him and he's doing fine.
On to Lake Mishnock. Get there about 1. Talk with Matt Richter on the way there, told him to bring brushes because I forgot mine and was planning to drum for a few songs during my dad's set.
Roll up, see Martin mowing the lawn, apparently he just found out about 10 minutes ago. First words out of his mouth were
"You guys fucking suck"
And then hugged us. Had to get the PA out of the attic, not bad, but not the lightest, most portable either. Start setting up sound as people start to come in. Over complicated setups are our specialty. Dad makes me laugh as he puts on Post Modern John for house music/test music for the setup. My dad starts his set. It's alright, not a lot of people giving attention. I feel as though it might be a little disrespectful to people, but I can understand there's only so much attention you can give in a party situation like this. Did frippertronics stuff on a song. Was alright, atmosphere was all wrong, I'll get into that in a minute...
Matt hadn't showed up yet. No drums for me.
House on Fire was not as much of a dud as I thought, but I played a really really short set. I ended at the logical end point. I felt like I couldn't play my best since they were really there for me. Pack up, dad a little pissed I didn't play longer. Oh well. I feel that HoF needs to go in the closet. Is it fun? Kinda. The Robert Fripp thing gets kinda old especially because I am not Robert Fripp. I put the "pop" songwriting on hold to expand with HoF. Maybe it's time for them to swap places.
Hot as balls outside. I pack up, put my stuff off to the side. By this point, Dan, Robbie, Astrid and Nick have shown up, and we all go swimming/ boating. Cools us off and puts me back into a better mindset. Matt Richter's band has started by now. One thing I'm always impressed with is how GOOD the sound is out in the lake, it sounds amazing and I don't know why! It's like a natural mix that doesn't blow.
Matt Richter's band is your standard blues/rock cover band, but they're all great musicians, to the point where I would probably go out and see them if given the chance. I think the covers were a bit overdone. But they were nice to listen to, although I was hoping they would finish up because I was antsy about playing. They ended up playing 3 or 4 mini sets, so I was just chomping at the bit to go.
Pete, Nick, Dan and I go to the jeep to concoct a set list. Except for songs we've collectively thrown out of the pile, I think we've played almost every song we've ever written, I'm pretty sure. (There's one song we wrote that everyone forgot about, what the fuck ever happened with that one? It was pretty good, gotta ask about that) Set up with Nick, Me and Dan from left to right, with Pete out in front. I forgot my keyboard stand (I don't know where it is right now. I fear it's left at the Blackstone) so I used a barstool from the house. Talk to Martin before, asked him to play harmonica on LMS. He obliged.
We go on, good set, kinda a blur. Crowd was small but way into it which was good. Lots of friendly interaction. Martin came up one point during the new song and laid down some free-form vocals, it actually fit.
So, we pack up our gear, and along come this man, soaked to the bone with his dog, in full clothing. He is under the influence of something, says how he tripped and fell in the lake, and walked all the way over here to find out where the music is coming from, and we must play one more song... We oblige. We play "National Anthem" by Radiohead and then go into a jam, with Martin on harmonica again, it was good. Pack up, Band hit the road. I go swimming again. Go in, dry off, see Martin in his house playing some songs, grab a guitar and join him. Play through some covers and Meccalily songs. Leave around 1 AM.
Yesterday. School, shit, what are you gonna do. AS220. I feel we didn't play that well, made the horrible decision to have Dan on the stage and put us on the ground. There were tables and a lot of things that weirded me out. Pete, Dan and Nick make a deal out of the pay deal, not the money, but the fact we weren't told about the system. I don't know what they're angry about.
Oh well. Was nice to see Justin and Martin and Lily there...
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